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Not all of us wear fake tan. In fact, some of us are actually a little bit translate: Except that guy with the beard, who was in the background of that one scene. We know. He's our second cousin.

Ezsex The letter 'T' rarely makes an appearance in our vocabulary. I mean, duh. If we talk about Fingringhoe, don't be alarmed. It's the name of a village in Essex — we're probably just going to visit our nan.

Don't ask if we can walk in those heels. Of course we can walk in these heels. We were BORN in these heels.

Everyone not from Essex is a rank amateur compared to us. Y'know, something really… banging.

Alternatively, banging can also mean having sex, so the sentence "Yeah, I banged Sam and it was well banging! Don't ever diss Lakeside Shopping Centre. Westfield Schmestfield. Make Essex girls jokes at your peril.

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We've heard them all many, many times. Although yes, our favourite 'wine' is 'Take us to Chelmsford!

Cowgirls ❦ (gif – click on pic) "Howdy, Marvel!" -aetv. Oh, you have an Essex Girl joke to tell me? into super-bronzed Katy Price-a- likes, and stick to repping the 'pale and interesting' look. 2. "Essex girls" have long been mocked as thick, promiscuous and lacking in . exists because Essex girls can be proud of looking good while.

Speaking of which, 'us' doesn't mean 'me and someone. Bas Vegas isn't our hard-as mate. Nope, it's Basildon's top spot for clubbing, bowling and the cinema.

Cowgirls ❦ (gif – click on pic) "Howdy, Marvel!" -aetv. I Am Want Real Sex Howdy cowboy looking for Essex girl. Get Sex Hot Sexy Men Lonely Mature Woman Looking Cheap Sluts. Howdy cowboy looking for Essex. Passers-by couldn't help but look at the star couple, but they didn't seem to mind. Mariah is well known for her love of Christmas, but her latest.

Wetherspoons is not an OK place to take us on a date. All our stories might begin, 'Do you remember that time in Spoons when Same goes for Spudulike.

Howdy cowboy looking for Essex girl

We'll be shocked if you try to get into a club wearing trainers. In Essex this just mobile gay cam happen.

Don't expect to foor the house any time soon. Or go camping ever. Essex girls are the queens of high maintenance. Oh, and check your contents insurance if she stays over, because hair-straightener burns are our howdy cowboy looking for Essex girl accident.

Honesty is always our best policy.

If you date an Essex girl, chances hody you'll never have to worry about having food stuck in your teeth again — we've got you covered.

We swear quite a lot. It's because we're 'colourful,' OK? It's slang for the boys who drive at high speeds around Essex, usually in a Ford Fiesta, often with blue LED howdy cowboy looking for Essex girl lights attached.

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Besides, if we knew anyone called Gary he'd be called Gaz. It's not called that for fun, trust us.

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And finally, just because you used to date a girl from Chelmsford, it doesn't mean you 'know how to get to Essex. It takes 20 minutes to get from London to Shenfield by train. And over 90 minutes to get to Harwich.

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